Filtering plan to protect your family from pornography for FREE

To strengthen our families, I feel that staying away from the emotional and spiritual damage of pornography is crucial. Most of us have quite a few internet-connected devices in our home, which can make filtering out pornography seem overwhelming. I want to explain what I've done to make the process more simple. I am not a computer expert so if you see any errors I've made or have any suggestions, please comment below!

FIRST: What is your purpose behind filtering? If it is to avoid accidental exposure, the following tools may be what you need. If someone really wants to access pornography though, they will find a way, so keep that in mind.

Plan to filter all your devices for free

(Should be able to use most in tandem)

1. ROUTER: Set up FamilyShield from OpenDNS. This should filter all devices that use wi-fi in your home. However, for it to work you need to adjust settings (configurations) in your router and in each device. Because it's a little more complicated to override blocked sites you want to unblock, you can set your filtering settings more lenient here and narrow in with the following options.

2. LAPTOP/DESKTOP: If you have a Mac, go to System Preferences --> Parental Controls to set site/app/time limits/and other controls. For computers without built-in parental controls, download K9 Web Protection from BlueCoat on all your laptops or desktop computers.

3. CELL PHONE and other MOBILE DEVICES: Set up controls on EVERY internet-connected device as another layer of protection. This is especially important to me because my Nexus 5 smartphone operating system isn't compatible with OpenDNS or K9.

• Set parental controls with your cellular provider to filter browsing on data.
• If you have Apple products, go to settings --> general --> restrictions to set site/app/and time limit controls. This may eliminate the need for some of the tools below.
• Monitor/control apps and browsing. Choose one or more of the following:
• BEST BET: Filtering, App and time restrictions, monitor multiple kids from one dashboard: OurPact for Android; Apple. 100% free and monitors up to 10 devices.
• Second tier options: 
• Control apps for young kids: Kid's Mode by Zoodles: Android; Apple version may not be available anymore.
• Control apps for young kids: Kids Place: Android; Apple version is simply a filtering browser
• A separate browser you download to filter browsing: Mobicip Safe Browser: Android; Apple version
• A separate browser you download to filter browsing: K9 Web Protection Browser: Android; Apple. 
• A separate browser you download to filter browsing, monitor remotely, time limits for browser (not entire device), geolocation: Qustodio Safe Browser: No Android Version; Apple version. I'm not sure if you can use multiple safe browsers in tandem or that you would really want to).
• Filters content regardless of browser you're using, set time/call/texting restrictions, monitor activity breakdown remotely, geolocation: Qustodio Parental Control App: Android; Apple version. (Free for only one device). Additional features like managing apps that have already been downloaded to a device only available in paid version. This is what I'm using on my Nexus 5.

4. Adjust settings for Instagram, Netflix, iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, Google, Minecraft, YouTube:
http://www.internetsafetycheatsheet.com/

5. Set up gaming system parental controls

If you utilize the tools listed above, you will have a safer web experience at home. See this presentation I made to understand the features of these tools better and the pros/cons (slides 13-18).

For tighter filtering and more peace of mind, create layers of protection. You can set your router filtering with more lenient settings, and then narrow in with your browser filtering.

Things to be aware of: Don't fall into a false sense of security. YouTube, Google Image Search, and app marketplaces (like Google Play store and Apple App Store) are notorious for bypassing the free filtering because of the images present which are harder to identify and filter out. The only way to completely avoid those images are to block the websites completely through your filter settings so they need permission from the person with the password to access.

What if you want to monitor multiple kids' devices remotely? 
OurPact, 100% free.

Multiple-device monitoring options which cost money:

Monitor unlimited amount of devices at once:

• Qustodio (about $33.95/year)  OR
• Mobicip ($39.99/year)

Net Nanny (For five devices: $74.99 or ten devices: $119.99)

Accountable2You ($5/mo. flat rate). Seems to be designed to help adults remain accountable in their internet use. Incognito mode browsing is recorded.

For more, see a comparison of filtering softwares done by a Be Web Smart here and CNET here

Filtering and monitoring through your router seem like such a convenient, sweeping option for your home wi-fi and can be more economical in the long-run for monitoring home wi-fi internet use. Here's a comparison between a paid and free option:

Since my kids are young and I layer my filtering with K9 which allows quick admin bypassing of sites you want to override (unlike OpenDNS) I like using OpenDNS as a router-filter for now. Maybe when they're a little older I'll look into something like Luma (see below):

More router or home-wide solutions:

BEST BETS:

Circle ($99.00) Small wireless device (not router) to monitor/filter/time restrictions for all devices using home wi-fi. No subscription. Inserts Disney commercial content into your child's online activity.

Luma router ($99) No subscription. Filtering, monitor users activity, time limits, grant/deny access to new devices in home trying to use wi-fi.

Some other options:

Clean Router ($99.00 for up to seven devices plus $19.00/mo. subscriptions fee or $199.00 for over seven devices plus $19.00/mo. subscription fee.)

Torch router ($199) No subscription. Filtering, monitor users activity, time limits.

Most importantly, develop strong emotional bonds with your children. Cultivate a safe emotional relationship so they will feel comfortable coming to you with their concerns and experiences. Talk openly about sexuality and answer their questions honestly and simply. Teach about the atonement and how Christ can ease the burden of accidental and intentional exposure to pornography. Linda Reeves' talk is a great one to study on that. Don't shame! Prepare yourself for their disappointing and even disturbing revelations and love unconditionally. Teach healthy stress coping mechanisms! Help your children know what to do with their time when they are bored, lonely, angry, stressed, tired. Have hope! 

 "I used to be afraid of the dark until I realized I was the light and the dark is afraid of me."   -D.R. Silva

Missionary Map

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints many serve a mission which entails spending 18-24 months of your life proselyting and serving others full-time. Missionary work began as soon as the church was organized and continues as a pillar of the church's purpose today. Many of my ancestors and relatives have served missions and I wanted to display that visually on a map. I've mounted it on my son's wall so he can look to the men and women in our family who have served before him as an example of faith. I included immediate relatives of my child (aunts/uncles) and then grandfathers/grandmothers, and earlier ancestors beyond that as well.

You can make your own too! I bought the map on Amazon, then I found the ancestors' pictures through my family tree in FamilySearch. The hardest part for the earlier ancestors however, was finding out where they served.  I was able to figure it out by scrolling through their life histories which can often be found on FamilySearch. However, a really awesome new tool is now available which would have made my search so much quicker: Early Mormon Missionary Database 1830-1930. Enter in your ancestor's name, mission, or keyword to come up with details about their baptism, priesthood office, and missions they served in during what years.

For a Family Home Evening we talked about the person in the picture and where they served as my kids took turns attaching them to the map. Something else I want to do is to revisit this map with mission stories of these ancestors which I will be able to dig out as I read more about their life stories in FamilySearch. I hope this map will be a lasting reminder to my kids of the importance of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Grandmother Chart

Last winter, in spiritual and emotional preparation for giving birth to my third baby, I began to feel such gratitude for my female ancestors and their lives, faith, and sacrifices through giving birth. They experienced the pains of labor and so I knew they could empathize as I experienced it again. I imagined them, essentially, as my doulas on the other side, surrounding me in love as I delivered my baby. In fact, my great-great grandmother on my mom's side, Sarah Elizabeth Carter, was trained in obstetric nursing under accomplished LDS female doctor Ellis R. Shipp. Sarah Elizabeth delivered hundreds of babies in southern Alberta, Canada, taking care of them and their mothers at her home which they coined "The Stork's Nest". She surely was equipped to empathize with a charitable love as I delivered my baby Evelyn.

After feeling that love for these grandmothers of mine, I decided I wanted to create something my daughters could look to to feel that closeness to these women. I believe these women still care about me and all their descendants with a mother's love. I also looked at it as I meditated and prayed for strength in preparation for labor and delivery. Evelyn's arrival was peaceful and joyful even amid the physical intensity of it all. I believe this was made possible through the peace of the Holy Ghost and enhanced by my strengthened testimony of my divine nature as a glorious woman of God. To me it's not unthinkable that one or more of these ancestors played a supportive role as Evelyn sacredly crossed the veil into this mortal life.

I used PowerPoint to create to this chart, using photos I found almost entirely through Familysearch.org.

A year's worth of "Ponderizing" scriptures for young children

image via

In October 2011, Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in a conference address encouraged us to memorize scriptures. He compared a memorized scripture to an "enduring friend that does not weaken with the passage of time". He also said, "Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high." How comforting and powerful is that? In October of 2015, Elder Devin Durrant of the General Sunday School Presidency of the church gave a challenge to "ponderize" a new scripture a week, defining ponderizing as a "combination of 80 percent extended pondering and 20 percent memorization.”


As I have young children, I worked on a list of full or partial scriptures that even kids as young as two can work on memorizing, comprehending, and applying to their life. Here's a list of 52 (one for each week of the year) that I wanted to share! Of course there are endless possibilities of scriptures you could use for your family, not just the ones listed here. Let the Spirit guide you in what to choose and how to teach it:

1 Ne 3:7   And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded…

2 Ne 2:25  Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

2 Ne 32: 3 ...feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.

Mosiah 2:17 ...when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

Alma 37:35 O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God.

Alma 41:10 ...wickedness never was happiness

3 Ne 11:29 For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

3 Ne 12:48 Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.

3 Nephi 22:13  And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

Alma 11:43 The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form...

Alma 36:3 ...Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.

2 Ne 4:30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

Doctrine and Covenants 93:29  Ye were also in the beginning with God. Intelligence or the light of truth was not created or made, neither indeed can be.

Doctrine and Covenants 50:24  That which is of God is light...

Doctrine and Covenants 88:124 Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.

Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 Cheerfully do all things that lie in your power…

Doctrine and Covenants 10:5 Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work.

Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God

Doctrine and Covenants 19:16 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent

Doctrine and Covenants 25:12  For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.

Doctrine and Covenants 58:26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

Doctrine and Covenants 58:27  Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

Doctrine and Covenants 59:9-10  And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High;

Doctrine and Covenants 1:23   That the fulness of my gospel might be proclaimed by the weak and the simple unto the ends of the world, and before kings and rulers.

Psalm 145:9 The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord alway; and again I say, Rejoice.

Col 3:2 Set your affection (mind) on things above, not on things on the earth.

1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God…

Psalm 150:6 Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Matthew 5:14 Ye are the light of the world…

Matthew 5:16  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Matthew 28:6 – He is not here, for he is risen…

Genesis 1:1  – In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth

Isaiah 43:5 Fear not: for I am with thee

1 Thessalonians 5:17 – Pray without ceasing.

Colossian 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

Matthew 28:20 – ...I am with you always…

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you...

Psalm 56:3 – What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Deuteronomy 6:5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 Prove all things, hold fast that which is good.

Romans 6:23 ...The gift of God is Eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Matt 11:28 Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.

John 14:6 I am the way the truth and the light. No man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

James 2:17  Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead...

Isaiah 55:8-9  For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Ephesians 2:20  And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;